Monday, February 6, 2012

Web woes

Setting up a blog has led me to several realizations. Firstly, reading your own writing is a deeply spiritual experience and can lead to a plethora of personal revelations. Secondly, other peoples' blogs can be a rich and expansive source of inspiration for all who seek it. Thirdly, most importantly, and what I particularly want to write about; I get really flustered when the internet is slow.

We live in an era of instant satisfaction. You want to watch a new movie? Netflix streams. You want to read a new book? Whip out the Kindle. You want to know when the toaster was invented? Fire up wikipedia (it was in 1893, which I find strange considering a bread slicer wasn't invented until 1912. I guess during the 19 year gap toasters were only used in Poland, where bagels had been available for toasting since 1610. Thank you, wikipedia). It is no wonder, then, that we have certain expectations when it comes to the things we rely on everyday. Take the internet. Just 30 years ago, the concept of a world-wide network of fully interconnected IP networks (thank you, wikipedia) was introduced to the world. And that was just an introduction. It wasn't actually commercialized until 1995 (I actually knew that one. Just kidding. Thank you, wikipedia). And even then, we all had to deal with this for a few years until broadband was invented. Ah, we were patient people then.

These days, we find ourselves angered, even enraged, when the window we want doesn't pop up within, I'd estimate, about 4 seconds. And we (I'm going to continue saying 'we' to make it seem like this is not totally auto-biographical) actually feel anxious, as if this wait is a problem, an actual real problem. It reminds me of the feeling you get when you realize the toilet is clogged only after flushing. You know that, in almost all cases, the water will stop rising before it spills over the edge, just as you know that window will pop up eventually. But still, the helpless feeling while watching the tainted water approach you is somewhat akin to the feeling during your internet catastrophe. All you're thinking is, "please, please make it stop. I promise I will never defecate again if you just make it stop" (that last part may or may not apply to the internet situation). And on the rare occasion the water does spill over the edge, there actually IS a problem with the webpage you're waiting for, the whole situation just turns into a maelstrom of cursing and pacing around the room in a fuming panic. I have personal experience with each side of this analogy, which qualifies me to make it.

Can you imagine if we all had to go back to dial up now? This would be all of us, every day. We should look back to those days, the golden age of the internet, to re-learn patience and appreciation for real problems. Like the fact McDonalds got rid of their dollar menu. That's just ridiculous.

No comments:

Post a Comment