Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hypocrites are people too

Shout out to the anonymous stranger only known to the world as "bean" for posting a comment that has inspired me to write this. He is mysterious and unknown, so I will refer to him as black bean.

At first I didn't want to delve into this topic, for fear of alienating a fraction of my fan base. Then I thought, my fan base at this moment consists only of my mother, so even if I offend half my fan base I'm really only offending half of my mother. I can appease the whole mother by just flying home for the weekend, so a phone call should suffice for half. Problem solved.

However, I do realize there might be a couple more that read this, so take it with several grains of salt and when you feel angry and want to offend me, just remember this.

For entirely too long a period, I was sure people posted twits on their tweeter accounts. It never made sense to me, as I was pretty confident in the definition of "twit." I just figured it was like the word "ho," traditionally having negative connotation but recently turning into a cool thing for a girl to call her friends. Whatever, it didn't really bother me - I don't question societal trends, I just make fun of them. Anyway, this is just an example of how out of the loop I am (have been) with the whole social media scene. I do have a Facebook, but I am also 99% sure that there is not a single person in my life between the ages of 12 and 50 who doesn't. So, unfortunately, that doesn't really count anymore as being 'in' with social media, it just counts as being in with life.

The reason I have been so out of the loop is because, for lack of a better phrase, I think the loop is fairly ridiculous. As I understand it, the purpose of twitter is to keep track of your friends and people/things you're interested in, as well as post 'tweets' to let friends/people/things know what you're up to. Translation in my mind: the whole purpose of twitter is to stalk people, have people stalk you, and make it easier for people to stalk you by presenting your current location, mood, occupation, thought, idea, and overall situation at all times. Furthermore, #woulditannoy@you if I #wrotelikethis all the time? Don't @you #thinkitwouldbehard to #understandexactlywhat @I was trying to say? This is the path we are on. Soon, all of our media will be presented in this fashion. That will be a dark day in my world, mostly because I am going to gouge out my eyes so I don't have to look at that nonsense (literally, non - sense) anymore.

I believe this new way of being 'social' will mostly affect the youth of the world. At least us adults know what it used to be like, back in the days when people talked to each other with their mouths and had some knowledge of what privacy is. Kids are being born into this now. I am currently observing at least 3 children who I neither know nor care to know grow up via Facebook. Not only have I not seen or talked to their parent (who I most likely drunkenly ran into at a college party once, which is more than justification for a Facebook friendship) in who knows how long, but the child is literally a stranger to me. And it is through no choice of my own. I get on, and there it is, a huge picture of a baby. And I think to myself, "hmm, so-and-so is getting BIG these days..." Then I snap out of it and immediately feel like a giant creep. Then I get angry at Facebook. Then I get angry at myself for having a Facebook. After all, it's my choice to have one, right? Well, a crackhead also has the choice to get off crack. There's a reason I've heard the word "relapse" used equally in reference to drugs, and to Facebook. I guess I should look at the bright side - when that baby is old enough to have his/her own account, I'll have another "friend" (I'm up to 328. God I'm popular).

Among other things (i.e. if I ever meet the writer of this blog I am going to beat him over the head with a hashtag), you may be thinking, "why did he decide to only pick on Facebook and twitter?" After all, we live in a world saturated with all sorts of social media. I mean there's Flickr, Foursquare, Friendster, Myspace, Reddit, Tumblr, the list goes on and on. Notice I listed those examples in alphabetical order. This is because I had to look them up, which is the crux of my point. I only make fun of Facebook and twitter because they're the only ones I actually know something about. There are so many out there these days that a bitter 20-something geezer like me can't keep track.

Of course, I suppose youtube is considered a social media site. Who doesn't like youtube? And I am currently writing in a you suppose it would be overly-hypocritical to say how dumb blogs are in my blog? Ok fine, I won't. Maybe I should just give in.

Moral of the story: this stuff sucks you in, whether you think it's stupid or brilliant.

Whew, now that that's over with...make sure to follow me on my new twitter account!!! @hypespeak

Inquiries? Refer to the title of this post.


  1. I prefer Pinto bean

  2. Wow from 2 to 17 new "followers" in 24're doing something right.

  3. This is awesome! Loved it! It's true. This stuff sucks you in. I do LOVE blogging, I just don't know about ALL of it.

    I especially love that you stopped by my place, are under 30, and have never delivered a baby. Most of my readers are moms, so I'm thrilled to see you at my place! :)

  4. Adrienne, I'm glad you liked it, and I think I'm glad I represent a new demographic at your place. I only think I'm glad because it also might mean I have the mentality of a 30+ mother.