Inanimate Objects Talking to Each Other

A Tree and the Grass

---Have you ever swayed in the wind?
---No. I barely tremble.
---Is that because you're so short?
---Thanks for reminding me.
---Have you ever grown fruit?
---No.
---Why not?
---I'm grass.
---Oh. I didn't know if --
---If what? If grass grew fruit? Are you stupid?
---I just --
---Yeah I know you're a tree God forbid you look down every once in while.
---Oh. Well have you ever had a picnic under you?
---I've had a picnic on top of me, asshole.
---Well, at least you've never had a branch chopped off.
---I get cut in half every week with a lawnmower.
---...........
---Yeah.
---Do you change into beautiful colors in the Fall?
---I turn brown and die.
---Well, this is awkward.
---Tell me about it.
---Here comes some wind. Weeeeeeee!
---You son of a...