Inanimate Objects Talking to Each Other: Two clocks

--What time is it?
--Seriously?
--What?
--Do you realize how complicated of a question that is?
--How?
--You're a clock.
--And?
--And I'm a clock.
--Ok...
--The time is asking the time what time it is.
--So?
--You really don't get it do you?
--No.
--You asked what time it is, right?
--Brilliant.
--Ok, I'll ask you: what time is it according to who?
--Whom.
--What?
--According to whom, not according to who.
--Ok, what time is it according to whom?
--I don't get it.
--That's because it's relative.
--Relative...
--Yes, relative. I say 3:00, so according to me relative to you, it's 3:00. But you say 2:55, so according to you relative to me, it's 2:55.
--So who's right?
--Neither. And both.
--Oh, now I get it.
--We are both right and wrong simultaneously.
--So...I'm early then? Or are you late?
--According to who?
--Whom.
--What?
--You really need to work on your grammar.
--Ok fine, according to whom?
--Let me guess, I'm early and you're late simultaneously?
--Nope.
--Wonderful.
--If you're early and I'm late simultaneously that means there is a time somewhere in the middle that is neither. And that's clearly not true.
--Right...
--So that means that you're early or I'm late, not and.
--Ok, so which is it?
--Both and neither.
--I hate you.